Living at the intersection of neuroqueerness & bhakti yoga.
Hey, Jax.
I’ve noticed that things have been going very well for you recently. One might even say that almost all of your dreams have been coming true in the sense that opportunity after opportunity to accomplish your goals has presented itself & continues to do so. That’s pretty rad, dude. Grats & stuff.
I haven’t made a blog post in a while.
I haven’t updated my social media accounts either.
So, why is this?
Here’s the full story.
What makes you feel vulnerable? What triggers feelings of shame for you?
The harder it is to open ourselves to the possibility of being vulnerable, the more likely we have experienced some form of trauma in our lives. The earlier on in our lives that we were exposed to something traumatic, the more ingrained those neural pathways are, meaning the more likely the roads that leads to us experiencing feelings like shame are well travelled.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? The things that matter? The truth is none of it matters. And the truth is all of it matters tremendously. It’s a wonder any of us ever get out of bed at all. And yet, we get out of bed.”
“It occurred to me that ‘choose’ and ‘pick’ are synonyms. You can choose to learn from your mistakes and turn your pain into something kind, or you can pick your scabs and pick a fight.”
During this incredibly difficult time, I’ve been fortunate to have a comfortable home, a good support system, & my needs mostly provided for by my parents & the State. I’m in relatively decent health & am an incredibly introverted person by nature who typically prefers to be alone, so for me, this seclusion hasn’t really been a hardship but actually quite a blessing in many ways.
One of the most universally “autistic” struggles I undergo is requiring a certain level of precision of language in order to be able to process the new information I’m receiving in a meaningful way.
Just a gentle reminder about what effective communication entails.
Emotions can cause us to forget simple truths.
I remember feeling very uncomfortable watching The Ring for the first time w/ all the girls in my grade who were laughing when something messed up happened.
Part of my black or white, all or nothing, rigid thinking includes me vacillating between thinking that I have super awesome unique talents, skills, traits, and attributes that are worthwhile, positive, useful, helpful, and beneficial and feeling that my strong personality, preferences, opinions, and ways of expressing myself are too difficult for people to find worth tolerating or putting up with.
Jax Bayne 